Having a random hookup so left but love u
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize