Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
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My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
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He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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