My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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