I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i think my mom watched the whole time
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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