it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
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well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
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but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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