i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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