I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
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How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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