I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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