This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize