Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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