Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize