i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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