Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
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I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
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I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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