This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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