He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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