Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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