Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize