no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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