You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize