i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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