I'm eating all of the evidence.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
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Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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