when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize