I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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