im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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