ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
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He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
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We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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