Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize