We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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