I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize