who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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