took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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