I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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