I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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