You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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