It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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