Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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