he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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