I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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