NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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