My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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