Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize