were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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