HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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