I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize