I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
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It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
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I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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