let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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