My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize