I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize