so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize