Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
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Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
My vagina is very pro this idea
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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