YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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