I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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